Goat Simulator 3 Review
Goat Simulator 3 is a sequel to Goat Simulator by Coffee Stain. Where’s part 2, you ask? Bleats me.
For those not familiar, the game is a wacky sandbox similar to Grand Theft Auto, but with a few quirks: you’re a goat, all cheat codes are enabled, and you go through many crazy adventures with great disregard for the rules.
You take on the role of Pilgor, a goat destined for greatness. As heard from the exposition while being wheeled into a farm a-la Skyrim, you’ve caused a lot of havoc in your wake and somehow found yourself in space. You’re then herded into a farm with your other goat friends and discover a goat tower that transports you into a throne room, where your ultimate goal is to open all of the gates and unlock its secrets.
It sounds ridiculous, but so is the thought of a goat game.
The Goats Shall Inherit The Earth
Once you start the game, you will immediately be able to experience the madness and wacky fun of Goat Simulator 3. From the moment you’ve accessed the inside of the goat tower, you’ll have a choice to follow the critical path of the game or just enter the sandbox and have at it with the world at large.
You basically have infinite lives, nobody really attacks you, and you can go around having your way with the world in any which way you want. When I mentioned that it’s like Grand Theft Auto with the cheats turned on, I meant that in every possible way.
Traversal through the world involves you trotting around, triple jumping into anybody, licking and dragging your unsuspecting victims, grinding your way through electric lines; and even carjacking vehicles because you’re a goat and that entitles you to drive. It’s a massive map, so there’s much to explore and much more havoc to spread.
Activities in Goat Simulator 3 involve you completing side quests and tricks to collect experience points and even cosmetics such as hats and other crazy items you can think of. This allows you to unlock more gates inside the Goat Tower to unlock secrets and moves, granting more ways to cause mayhem and harass the populace, whether they be humans or animals.
It’s good and stupid fun, as the game doesn’t take itself seriously at all. It’s a great way to switch off your brain for a while and just go around and play around in the sandbox. If you have friends, that will even sweeten the experience as you can play up to four players in online multiplayer, which is where the fun really lies.
One Trick Goat-y
While Goat Simulator 3 can be an easy source of mindless fun, which it really has in spades, I feel that the novelty wears off quite quickly. While the first few hours are definitely a blast, and even more with your friends, if you’re looking for something substantial in this game, you’re better off looking elsewhere.
There are many activities to complete, such as side quests and tricks, but at the end of the day, what are you doing it for besides trophies? The through line for Goat Simulator 3 is thin as it gets and there’s really no main story to actually follow unless you really want to scour to see what the game has to offer.
Goat Simulator 3 does poke fun at many popular franchises, like Skyrim and P.T. through their side quests, which are a great way to add more engaging activities to do in the game. There are a ton of references littered throughout, so if you’re an Easter Egg hunter, it is an especially fun activity to look out for many of these callouts.
As a traditional player that wants some sort of thing to follow before diving into the sandbox, this game is definitely not for me. The novelty faded really quickly, and the crazy amount of fun that I had a few hours ago suddenly lost its luster, reducing itself to a mad dash to tick off boxes to complete the objectives.
During my time with Goat Simulator 3, I also experienced some performance issues that were pretty noticeable, but nothing too serious. Given the fact that the game is a current-gen-only release (and PC), it’s surprising to see. We’re pretty sure it gets fixed and patched soon.
What We Liked:
- Fun sandbox you can switch your brain off and go nuts.
- Multiplayer mayhem with friends.
- Ton of fun references to other games.
What We Didn’t Like:
- Not for gamers that want something a bit more defined
- The game concept could wear thin after a while
Verdict: Wait For It…
Goat Simulator 3 doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s a good thing. While it’s definitely a blast, it’s hard to recommend this because your enjoyment of it depends on your tolerance for the concept. For me, it ended after a few hours before I got bored, but the fun can definitely last if you’re taking advantage of the online multiplayer feature.
That being said, while there are a lot of activities and jokes to be had, if you’re the type of player that enjoys having a defined path to follow, Goat Simulator 3 is probably the furthest from it. It would be advisable to check out some videos about the game first before diving in.
*Goat Simulator 3 was reviewed on a PS5 using a review code provided by the publisher.